The Internet Highway has changed the way we live and the way we love. It has changed the way we socialize and it has also increased the likelihood of finding love over the internet. Conversations are easy to strike up with regularity and it’s easy to discover that you have strong feelings for someone who lives hundreds or thousands of miles away from you! Many people are choosing to have long distance relationships (LDRs) LDRs might feel wonderful at first. However, they come with their own set of unique challenges as well. Many couples are blind-sided by the impact an LDR can have on their daily life. This person can now feel so close to you because of the internet and yet in reality, remain so far away. The paradox is weighty. The more prepared you are to handle the situation, the better equipped you both will be to make decisions along the way that will benefit you and your partner and possibly make it a safer and enjoyable experience. In this article, I have addressed 10 areas that you should pay special attention to when considering an LDR:
Identity. Your parents always said “don’t talk to strangers.” Long Distance Relationships that begin on the internet go against that rule 100% If you’ve never virtual reality and long distance relationships met the person, there is the issue of dealing with someone who is not who they pretend to be. They may also not be single. You don’t know their history. You only know what they tell you and what they show you. If this is the case and you like the person and they like you – I would recommend doing an online search to make sure they are who they say they are. Even then you cannot be sure but it’s a start. If you feel like your relationship could possibly get serious, the cost of the search is an investment in attaining some level of security.
Are they single? The internet is a perfect playground for people who are intent on cheating emotionally or physically. So you’ll have to do your due diligence to make sure they are available. Can you contact them anytime you want? Do they relegate contact with them during very tight windows of time? Do they suddenly have to get off the phone or shut down their connection? Can you reach them in the wee hours of the morning or in the middle of the night and have long conversations? Are they available during holidays or have that job requiring them to work every holiday?
Fidelity. Are they the loyal type (Presuming you are). Because you are miles away, you don’t have a birds’ eye view into their life. So if you have confirmed that they are available, now you have to confirm that they are just involved with you. That is something that can be proven over time. The question is how long will it take and do you have that time to invest? If so, then you want to be certain that this is not someone who is just using the internet to widen their player game. When someone is into you – they are 100% available for you and only you. It’s easy to not pay attention to the signs when they are right there in front of you when the image on the camera is attractive or you’re being told everything you want to hear. So be transparent with your life and ask the same of them. If they rarely want to let you see them on the camera or have issues with spontaneous conversations and are rarely available or extremely controlling, chances are you are not the only person in the picture or they are just not that into you.
Holidays. Remember that holidays happen all throughout the year. They will be a consistent reminder that you are in an LDR. If you are serious about maintaining your relationship you have to realize that long distance relationships cost money. In the beginning when emotions are high and love is in the air, finances don’t seem to be an obstacle. As a matter of fact, there is nothing that seems to be able to come between the two of you. However, reality sets in and catches many new lovers off guard. The desire might be high to meet but the budget could be low, unless it is planned for. So right out the gate, know that if this long-distance relationship is ever to go to the next level, you will have to take into account expenses to make meet-ups a reality. Where there is a will, there is a way. Both people should try to make equal efforts to visit one another to avoid resentment on the part of one party that could eventually break-up the relationship. If that’s not possible, then try to share the cost of one person traveling to see the other. If the holidays are approaching and it’s not possible to see one another, then you have to find a way to maintain the intimacy in spite of the distance.
Insecurity. Long Distance Relationships are not for everyone. Your trust will be tested. That combined with the reality that you don’t have the luxury of being able to get to know one another on a daily basis in person and it can heighten the insecurities. You must assess if you have the ability to withstand those elements. You may have the potential for a great relationship, but if you can’t stand that strain, it’s best to be honest with yourself and with each other before going down that road. It is possible that you could salvage a very good friendship instead or part ways with dignity and care. Figure out ways to help one another feel secure. Will you check in all throughout the day, one a day or one a week or whenever you feel like it? You have to establish what will make you both feel comfortable and yet not suffocate one another. Quite often the level of paranoia and insecurity is so high that people end up stifling one another with their imaginations. This is a very important step to cover. Also, what can you do for each other that will make each of you feel special? Send periodic messages just to let them know you are thinking of them. Really pay attention to your partner and learn who they are, what they like, etc. If someone loves poetry, books or music – take time to send them a book of poems or create a playlist and send to them. In these ways, you display your affection across the miles and let them know you are thinking of them.